You may not notice it at the beginning, but there are some surprising changes that will happen in our lives once we get married.
Spending more than a decade of living away, it is natural to seek belongingness outside your comfort zone: friends, activities, hobbies, leisure, pleasure, travel, splurging and a lot more. More so, when you get used to your independence, you might not want anyone to control your life (I’ve had my share of stubbornness, inability to trust, insensitiveness, shortcomings, playing around and the likes) but that will surely change once you tied the knots.
And here’s the list of changes that I have experienced.
1. Your Surname- Of course, the most obvious one.
2. Your time, commitment & priorities – At this time you will find yourself putting your spouse who is now your family on top of everything and everyone else.
As for me, I would rather spend my time cuddling with husband on weekends, cleaning and arranging our small household, preparing home-cooked meals together (oh well, like what I’ve posted on my IG, who needs to dine out when you’ve got the best Chef at home named RJ, haha!), watch TV, and other stuff rather than my usual going out with friends on weekends or staying up late outside the night before.
You are more likely to go out with the husband alone or you would take your partner with you if you are hanging out with friends.
On a larger scale, this is the time when you set your priorities straight. Looking forward to more comprehensive goals together. A more detailed outlook. Your goals become their goals, and their goals become your goals, your dreams become their dreams and their dreams become yours shared together to achieve one steady output.
3. Your Money- You will start spending money in a different way now. You would not splurge like the way you do when you are single. You will learn how to control your spending habits and more likely to budget your individual expenses and buy only the necessary needs for the household and important expenses. More so, you will both work on how to save money for the future.
I would rather prepare food and eat at home with the husband. I don’t splash or have a sudden outburst on unnecessary leisure, pleasure, and extravagance anymore but rather learned how to spend wisely and with limitation.
4. No more secrets- Yeah, when you get married, this is no time for hiding secrets. You have to reveal your real self, good or bad attitude, even those shameful ones, your habits, your weaknesses towards certain things, how would you like your food to be done, your eating and sleeping habits, your tantrums, likes and dislikes.
We started laying our lives on the table for the other to peek in. We never hide anything from each other even past stories, past relationships, past mistakes, future dreams, even our mobile phones, haha! (even though RJ’s phone is always open, and I know he doesn’t hide anything from me, not at all, I’m also giving him his own private space to do his personal stuff like I also want to have my own privacy browsing, surfing, and chatting with family and old friends), our daily activities, family matters, and everything under the sun.
I myself prefer to live a private life but having a spouse, we must have to share our private life with them.
5. Your Loyalty- Well of course, when you get married, one very important factor is to always have a full loyalty to your husband/wife.
No more in-betweens. You have to surrender your self completely with your partner.
6. Your daily routine- Your usual schedule, things you do, places you go, your preference, habits, and others will change accordingly to blend with your partner.
My usual routine of getting up at 3PM every weekend surprisingly changed an hours earlier because I have to adjust in a way to meet my husband’s timetable. When I’m still living alone, I never cared about storing food at home or do a regular trip to the supermarket since I don’t cook at all. I woke up and eat whenever I want to and mostly, order food outside.
And yeah, getting married indeed will change our personality and perspectives. Making marriage last requires both hard work and understanding for both the husband and wife. Time. Commitment. Loyalty. Trust.
Every decision, whether it’s about finances or family, have to be agreed and discussed with both parties in mind. You have to change. You have to compromise. You have to give your self completely. You have to think about the other, then surely you may have a simple- peaceful- happy life.