A year after

A year after

January, 2018

Dear RJ,

As we celebrate our One Year Anniversary, let me reminisce those days with these 12 things!


TWELVE: 12 Months of togetherness, ups, and downs, highs, and lows, good and bad…

ELEVEN: Within that 12 months, We argued/fought more than 11 times, trying to prove each other’s point of view.😂😂😂

TEN: You are consuming 10 hours each day with your head buried unto your mobile phone, playing clash of clans, and other times browsing and chatting!

NINE: Spending a little over 9 hours a day with me, that includes our sleeping🤔(a little exaggerated)

EIGHT: Eight represents infinite. Complete and unending abundance without any lack, just like the ring you gave me and even if there is no forever, at least hoping to spend a lifetime.

SEVEN: 7th August. Though we occasionally talked about it, you gave me the ring(the infinity) on the eve of 7th August in your car, in front of our house while we were in the Philippines, while it’s raining and asked me to marry you.

SIX: Almost 6 Months of marriage —-and—–

FIVE: I’ve known you for 5 years, since early 2013, when you came to our flat the first time, one evening with your colleague and we went out to drink.

FOUR: but 4 years of that, we were only just good friends, more of a chatmate and drinking bud (though I don’t drink that much)

THREE: June 3, 2016, your birthday and our first unofficial date, a home date without a relationship yet, the very first time you came in my flat and brought a bottle of vodka & crispy belly and we celebrated your birthday just the two of us.

TWO: Before and after. You know how much I love flowers, it gives me a lot of positive feeling. Love, hope, contentment. I received two bunch of flowers from you on two different before and after occasions, (as of today.)First, before Valentine 2017 inside the mall, and second, After Christmas, 2017, in our house.

ONE: and finally one! We were about to celebrate one year of being in a relationship on this day, 26 January 2018, only if we didn’t get married -> now my ex-boyfriend, haha.

And these 12 months you had given me a lot of pain and heartache and headache and misery and rejections, and doubts, and the feeling of not being good enough, with a lot of criticisms in everything, and with all the fights, hmm 🤔 and at the same time with the same impact, you provide me everything,  Love, Life, Companionship, friendship, all in one,  happiness, and your name.




That one…

That one…

Well, you don’t love life itself. You love, uh, places, animals, people, memories, food, literature, music. And sometimes you meet someone… who requires all the love you have to give. And if you lose that someone, you think everything else is gonna stop too. But everything else just keeps on going. Giraudoux said, you can miss a single being, even though you are surrounded by countless others. Those people are like… like extras. They cloud your vision, they’re a meaningless crowd. They… They’re an unwelcome distraction. So you seek oblivion in solitude. But solitude only makes you wither.