Early 2013- Known this guy for the past 4 years but never in my life I thought that one day, four years later, after being acquainted for so long, I would learn to like this guy…not to mention that this is the person I will soon call my husband.
My idea of him was quite not good since I was fed wrong information about his personality by our common friends.
We used to be in a group eating/ drinking together with some of our common friends and right there and then, I defined him as an alcoholic, loud and irritating, war freak, brutally frank, but funny kind of guy.
During that time, I’ve seen this guy in his worst, a drunk, haggard, dirty and smelly, eats like a pig/dragon, (sorry for the word, my love), sometimes he would look like he has never gone into the shower for days, walking with messy hair, wrinkled bacon shirt with holes on it, like he has gone out to buy a bottle of vinegar for his mother only then he decided to go see his friends. Straightforward to everyone. Someone who always does the talking, and usually the loudest and the goofiest one in any conversations.
But hey, It’s not something that would make you dislike him, he may sometimes get the nerve off you, Frank, intimidating, irritating, disturbing, annoying and very vulgar, but you know, it’s just something that he is very real, comfortable and at ease with his friends.
During the entire four years, we happened to talk and chat from time to time and some days I would seek for his advice regarding some of the issues I have dragged myself into and in fairness, he would give me one good piece of serious advice. Though we may differ in most of our point of view and ways, well at least I could still get something useful from him.
02. A little more than friends.
Sometime later, After hibernating for a while, I happened to rekindle my communication with him on a regular basis again. But this time, it was not something you would treasure afterward.
During this time, he was in the stage of just-recently-recovered-from-a-very-bad-relationship and I was then renewing and trying my best to survive an almost about to fail relationship for the nth time again, (Well actually, I’m only trying my hard- best to save/stay in a relationship that is no longer beneficial to me in all aspects, I just don’t want to waste the time and effort though I’m really fed up!) then we crossed each other’s path. A different him and a different me. No more other friends around. Something happened that I wouldn’t want to elaborate much but it ended questionably as there was no beginning nor an end.
He comes and goes and most of the time pissed me off – that this guy would only come and fool around. In short, it was just one of those yeah, just one-of-those kind of whatever I have around and even worse than that, because this guy has the nerve to name that relationship. It took sometime before we finally lost in touch but continued to remain as good friends, and casual chats from time to time, forgetting what happened in between.
A few months later, after our PH vacation, before the end of the year, I was out with friends (Marriot Hotel) having a couple of drinks when he chatted me again. This time, he gave me the best laugh I ever had in my life for years when he invited me out to spend a night with him in a hotel. Polite as I always am, I do not want to humiliate this guy for telling me that he wants to spend some time with me with all his naive honesty though later apologizing for being frank, I gave this one a good laugh.
Doubtful about his intentions, I reminded him as a joke that he forgot the promise he made before leaving for vacation the previous year.
He invited me for a dinner at his home (not in the hotel, but a home-cooked meal prepared by him) and from there, he gave me a NIKE Airmax rubber shoes as a gift for all the occasions we missed. I was expecting a very aggressive RJ but no, he was not.
We’ve been constant chat mate and running mate for the next few days after that. He would also come from time to time to bring me food at home. A few days later, while we were at his friend’ s house he told me that he would buy me rubber shoes again the next day for my workout. True to his promise he did that, plus some other stuff from Victoria Secret. Since that day onwards he kept asking when to see me again or if he could see me again the next day even when we are still together, which is very unlikely of him that made me wonder what’ s up with this guy these days? Few more days again he told me he would take me to the salon to fix my hair, and at the same time on the same day, he gave me a paired watch, one for him and one for me.
Still doubtful, I was getting surprised by his recent actions and one night he told me that he has a feelings for me and at the same time he felt bad about the feelings because it might cause him another heartbreak to have someone who will take advantage of him again. I could sense somehow that he is real as he looks at me in a different way this time, like with so much love and affection and would always give in to my whims, but I’m the one who wasn’t that sure about my feelings. I liked him as a friend, and I’m getting used to being with him most of my afternoons but nothing very serious at that time, but then he showered me with kindness and caring ways.
And the rest is history.
I have seen a different RJ. Thoughtful and caring. Articulate. Educated. Not so reserved/ refined (straightforward) in some ways but tolerable. Would serve you like a Queen. Would do everything for you I would say. Would always please you in any way that he could. Would always ask to see you. Would always prepare food and drinks for you. Would even do the laundry for you. And yes, would spend money for you.
I don’t know how it happened or what made him love me like that because I do not see anything special in me, but it happened, and we were not able to control everything afterward.
Spending straight six months with him has a lot of adjustments, ups and downs, highs and lows, petty quarrels, but I know this is a one real love, or I may call it a developed love thru the years, four years in the making, but one thing I confidently sure, we love each other.
But of course, you have no hold of where the future might take you, but then if ever, in case there would come a time that you are no longer with me, I would say that you are one of the kindest men I had ever encountered in my whole life.
One thing I have learned in this relationship is that there are really some people out there who would do everything for the person they love. Been in a lot of relationships before but never I did something like this to anyone, to be honest, like how you would take care of me and all my needs every day.
And yeah, in every relationship that we got into, we always had something new and something different to learn and vice versa.
With you, I learned the meaning of selfless love. Something that I have n’t given to anyone.
And for that, I want to extend my sincerest thanks for everything.
Now and the days to come.
Revised: 2017 up to this date, late 2018
Happily Married for more than a year now. With all the ups and downs, highs and lows, thick and thin, occasional fights and a lot of laughter afterward, I’m happy to say that we are still here! Managed to conquer all the trials we faced and will continue to pass all the ordeals that we have to face- together.